Learn to say NO.
We can cause ourselves a great deal of stress because we do not want to let people down, we then end up doing more than we should.
Laura, a woman in her 60’s came to see me about having music repeatedly playing in her head which she couldn’t shift. I asked if she was under stress at the moment and she said she was. Apart from the stress in having music constantly playing she had taken on a lot of sorting her in-laws problems out as her husband and his children appeared to either not care or not doing their bit.
I asked her why she was taking on these responsibilities, and there was an element of perfectionism about it. She didn’t trust her husband’s children to be any good, and he was “faffing about”, so she thought she’d take it on.
Her husband’s parents were not well and they were looking for a home where they both could be together and get good healthcare. Her father-in-law was suffering with dementia and not all care homes would take him on.
Once I had explained the brain and why she was having this obsessive music playing she realised she needed to find ways of delegating the responsibility, and not be so much of a perfectionist. A week later she was back and the music had stopped. She had given the responsibility back to her husband’s family and was only writing letters and witnessing documents and she was feeling so much better.
Know your limitations and do not take on too much, delegate what you can and be assertive so that you can say ‘No’ without upsetting or offending.
Call me or text “Assessment” to 07508 658934 or contact me for more information.
Next article: Stress busting tip #6